How I wish

How I wish someone can come fetch me after school.. At least like got someone to accompany me home, chit chat around, so won't be so boring..

Last Tuesday it was pouring like SHIT after school.. Cats and Dogs and even mouse.. Haha.. WIth umbrella, still half wet.. Its cold like hell too.. Shiver all the way home, its much warmer staying in an air-condition room then staying outside..

After class, we went to discussing our TMAs.. Like who to do what and when to hand it in.. After which we was dismiss and everyone was like saying, "Oh my BF come fetch me home."
Hmm, so xian mu them.. When can I say my BF come fetch me home ah.. lOl
Not that he no come la, but can he come more like willingly.. More like he initiate come fetch me and not I ask for it.. Like he will say "Hey later 10pm meet you in school fetch you home" that kind of thing.. And not like "What time end school, want me fetch you ma".. This is more like telling me, "Please say no, cause I don't wan go down fetch you".. ard to make a decision.. So it is very SIAN~...

How I wish.. If only he can be more initiative and auto.. But sad to say.. Some things are just too bad.. I only can eat sour grape liao.. Its like whole world the BF will fetch GF home, except mine..

I know. its kinda asking for too much cause he is studying.. So maybe I'll never get to say that phrase.. "Oh, my BF come fetch me".. Cause he really don't like coming down to SIM, its far and isolated, so not in the way.. And its kinda idiot to reach home, and to go out so far, and to fetch GF home when, she have legs of her own, who can go home by herself.. Its not as if she is an idiot, don't know her way home..

Too bad, no value added service.. Haha.. Just wish that someone, anyone, who can fetch me home.. Guy or girl, got car no car doesn't matter.. Haha.. I am sure asking for too much sia..

*sigh

Some weirdos

Don't understand.. I really don't understand..

She use to be with him..
She say he sux..
She say he is a very lousy guy..
She say he is a "LAN ren"..
She somehow convince us that he really stinks and sux big time..

But now she is crawling back to him.. WTH.

As friends of hers, we are glad that such lousy guy had choosen to leave her, so she can have a better catch in the future.. Thus we kept reminding her not to be so nice to that guy, leave him for good.. Initially, she also agreed.. But now, she went back sticking to him.. But they are not together yet..
Call me bias or whatever, but I really feel he sux.. From the way she tell me how he treated her last time, I almost don't see any nice side of him at all.. I did ask her about his nice side, its just like those simple very very basic, a normal guy will treat any girl.. Nothing special at all.. Nothing..

He is like petty, always think that people black face and don't like him.. Wahahaha, well can't we be born with a black face.. But the don't like him part is so true, cause his ex-gf somehow convince us, and from his action.. Its like action speaks louder then words.. I see how he treated her, and no any guys I know have ever done that.. Just so PETTY can.. So petty..
And now she is telling us not to be so prejudice and bias towards him..
How can man.. You gave us this first impression and we see it by our own eyes.. Plus somemore, he did nothing to change the impression we have of him.. So just too bad la..

Now she choose to go to his side, waiting for this one fine day that he will as for a patch.. But I think its like NEVER.. Even if he does, its not out of pure love he patches with her.. So she is going to wait for him forever? Blindly waiting, and misses all the other chances..
What she says never matches what she does..

I'm just so utterly disappointed with her.. Told her you have to be strong and move on.. She nearly made it.. But I don't know what the hell she is doing.. And that guy also.. It is so darn obvious she cant get over him.. Why does he still like give her slightly little tiny weeney hope..

Anyway, it takes 2 hands to clap.. Just give up on her la.. Not worth it to care so much for this kind of people.. It will just upsad me only.. And makes me feel like an idiot/ jackass..
Well, just give up on her and forget about it.. Cause of him, she aeroplane don't know how many times and not a single apologies..
(*PS: I'm a petty girl too.. loL.. Mr Bee know best)

She don't contact me, I will not contact her.. Thats it..

Finally wireless

Finally I can connect wireless-ly using my lappy.. Hahaha, thanks to Mr Bee.. He gave me his wireless router and help me with the connection.. I should feel happy right ?!? But apparently I'm not.. I somehow feels guilty, apologetic, useless and bad about it..

So sorry that I have to trouble you with the set up of the router, trust me, you are the last one I will ever trouble to do anything.. I've tried setting up, really.. Asked around, called the help line (but they refuse to help me).. I know you tried first time and it don't work, but that time we didn't call the help line.. And its because the router is registered under your name, you are the first user, that's why they refuse to help me.. Not that I don't want to fake as you, but I'm afraid that thet have your profile at their side, cause you had register your router with them when you purchase it. and while checking my identity, they had your profile as reference.. But I should have just fake it then ask you to come help me.. Maybe should have just bought a wireless modem instead.. But its just that, since it can be use then don't waste money ma..

Cause its like since you send me home, then can sun bian help ma.. But its like a hassel to you.. I know you don't like.. But but.. Sigh.. Don't wanna say anything much.. I'm just plain plain useless..

But I don't understand, I'm your GF, why you don't want to help me.. You got help la, after I asked and you came like as if I put a parang on your neck, forcing you like that.. Last time you won't like this de.. Is it personality changes as the weather change?!? Or is it the favours I can asked from you had all been used up?!? I really hope this is the last time I'll ever ask help from you again.. I'll constantly remind myself about this.. So don't worry, I'll not bother you with anything, be it big or small matters.. Ok..
Happy =) ... Great..

Anyway, thanks for your help.. Else purchasing a laptop will be like the following equation :
( Buy lappy = waste money + waste time + waste effort)

haha, at least now can surf net le la.. Thanks alot..

Really thanks...





But shit, why I'm feeling very bad and guilty about it.. I'm just so useless la.. Told myself have to be independent, not to rely on you, yet I still ask help from you.. Kinda "Orbi" that I will feel this way.. Punishment for not able to keep what I say.. Really is "Orbi good x 10 times".

But then seriously, if I don't ask help from you, then you want me to turn to who? If I don't depend on you then I depend on who?
Quoted from a magazine " why does a girl need that guy if she cant depend on him. And if she is to get so independent, then there's no need to have a BF, cause she don't need anyone to depend on. " Well well, I cant help but agree to it.. What are your say..
Or ultimately you want me to find another shoulder that I can lean on? Haha, too bad, my market is very bad.. So that can never happen.. But I also won't do such thing, that will just be too sluty of me.. Well well, I'll just get over-stressed, unhappy and vexed then fall and drop dead.. This will ultimaley the best choice of all.. So I will can be your loyal GF, always stand by you till the last breath I have.. Haha, seems to get abit too carried away..

*Sigh*

What the hell man... Someone please tell me..
Haix... Getting something done, but I'm not happy at all..

So conclusion......

Buy lappy = Trouble + sickening + guilt..

Should just drop dead and die, so I won't waste the oxygen on earth.. Damm it !!!!!

Detached from the world

I'm such a blur cock..

When I reached office this morning, I realise I didn't bring my HP out.. Feel so lonely, so detached, so weird, yet very quite..

Its always like, when you didn't bring your phone out, the whole world will be calling you.. If your phone is by your side, no one will find you.. Especially my GM, when I don't bring HP, she will sms me.. Flip, this is the 2nd time le.. Lucky nothing special.. Else think I can just drop dead..

Its like as if my phone is so afraid of me, when by my side, its like so silent even silent mode is not on.. So sad....

Especially you Mr Bee.. No call or SMS when my phone is with me.. wahHAhaHAha..
Wanna argu with me ma..

Call me when you see this entry to prove me wrong ok.. loL..

*pst: if its pass mid-night when you start reading my blog, you can just text me la, don't wake me up from my beauty sleep.. lOl..


=p

Interesting

Wow, can't believe that there's actually audience for my blog.. lOl.. I thought its just something like dump at a corner and no one reads it.. lalala..

Anyway, I'll start here..

Saw this lady carry an authentic LV bag, well to the least it looks authentic to me.. Even if it isn't real, well at least an imitation.. And now imagine, a mickey mouse doll ihanging on the bag.. Goodness, imagine spoiled.. Hahaha, such an elegant nice looking bag, with a doll.. So interesing..

Today finally can sleep early.. Was like rushing all the TMAs until like donkey hours then have the chance to sleep.. 2 modules ended, now 2 more to come..

Jia you jia you..

Go go go...

Finally

FINALLY, i feel my computer.. I feel the keyboard.. I feel the mouse.. Its just damm good to have my computer back..
It walk out of me when I needed it the most.. When I'm trying to meet my deadlines, it broke down.. That time is really God Bless sia.. But lucky, I hit part of my deadline le.. "Computer, please don't walk out of me again".

Because of this, I have the urge to own a lappy.. At least I can bring it around me.. Like to the library and blah blah blah..

Its been a very busy week for me since last week.. This week it will just get worst.. Too busy for anything, that includes getting sick.. And its always at this point of time, I will be sick.. God damm it..
Of all things, I caught a running nose, flu, block nose, headache and cough.. Shitty, why can't I just catch some cash leh, $D or TOTO also can.. lOL, but I can't take MC.. Got alot of office inventory stuff to settle, projects to settle.. Damm feel like dying man.. I'm such a good worker, go to work even I'm sick.. (So BHB sia me..lOl)

Really need to have a good rest after my projects and so on.. But schedul seems to be pack until November, after my exams.. *sigh*

I just want a short little break..

Really dread growing up...

Culprit

If there must be a culprit, that would be me..

The culprit to my own breakup..

So for all the treatment I received is I earn it for myself.. But I don't understand why can't you just accept me for who I am.. I've tried real hard in waking up early, but apparently its not in my genes.. I know if I set the time, I should be on time, but its because I don't dare to set a time that is late, afraid that I might displease you.. I told myself I have to be on time, but just can't make it..
All these are just excuses for me, thats all I can say.. Its all because I didn't try hard enough.. I've already wake up so early every morning, just wanna slack a little bit more during weekends, but apparently things don't turn out your way.. NS really can change someone.. *clap*

If you say you no longer have expection or rather trust I would say.. No longer trust that I can get something done (ok la, is I orbi, I know).. But I've also been disappointed.. No longer have faith.. Its because you let me feel that YOU cant be bothered with ME.. And now you are telling me I'm the culprit..
*freaked out*
Shock of my life..

Now I can finally understand what is "Zhi zhuo zhi shou".. Not blaming you.. But now I think, since we no longer have faith in each other, plus you cant be bothered with me and maybe, don't wan see my face.. So whats the point in holding on? Holding on to the past, or you think if end like this is a total waste of time?
Parting is awful, but the past will always be beautiful.. You will always stand a special place in my heart.. I hope me too =x (asking for too much sia me..)

*Flip* I majiam acting out what is going to happen man.. Really is the director to my own flim.. wahAhahHa, total rubbish..

But I need time to sort it out, need to think..
But....but, I think here think there, my mind is just in blank, whats there to think leh..
Cant be bothered means cant be bothered what, I think until my brain burst liao, he also cant be bothered..
Just too bad.. My emotion cant be balance means cant be balance..
"Nu ren xu yao hong de" so when cant be bothered, he wont even care to hong me even if I emotionally unbalance..
When I'm pissed, though you reason out liao, I've registered the pissed for pass 2 days.. Not say a sentence, then the pissed will be gone de.. Need to hong de you know.. Well, guess you will never know.. I can't throw temper, cause I scared you will angry.. But somehow I still did it.. Told myself not to.. But...Guess my patient is running out..

Think what I need to do now is to stay strong, focus and get mentally prepared..

This time round I don't wanna be the bad guy, cause I dont wanna go hell.. whAhahHaA.. =x *bloody asshole sia me*
I really dont know what to do..What to say.. What to act.. I dont feel special anymore..
Maybe we took each other for granted, for too long..

Do we need time to cool down, to seperate ?!? Flip, I don't know.. If it is.. I will need alot of time..

Time is the best remedy... I need more time..

If you happen to see this post.. You tell me, is this gonna happen.. ?!?

I'll let you decide..