Finally

FINALLY, i feel my computer.. I feel the keyboard.. I feel the mouse.. Its just damm good to have my computer back..
It walk out of me when I needed it the most.. When I'm trying to meet my deadlines, it broke down.. That time is really God Bless sia.. But lucky, I hit part of my deadline le.. "Computer, please don't walk out of me again".

Because of this, I have the urge to own a lappy.. At least I can bring it around me.. Like to the library and blah blah blah..

Its been a very busy week for me since last week.. This week it will just get worst.. Too busy for anything, that includes getting sick.. And its always at this point of time, I will be sick.. God damm it..
Of all things, I caught a running nose, flu, block nose, headache and cough.. Shitty, why can't I just catch some cash leh, $D or TOTO also can.. lOL, but I can't take MC.. Got alot of office inventory stuff to settle, projects to settle.. Damm feel like dying man.. I'm such a good worker, go to work even I'm sick.. (So BHB sia me..lOl)

Really need to have a good rest after my projects and so on.. But schedul seems to be pack until November, after my exams.. *sigh*

I just want a short little break..

Really dread growing up...

Culprit

If there must be a culprit, that would be me..

The culprit to my own breakup..

So for all the treatment I received is I earn it for myself.. But I don't understand why can't you just accept me for who I am.. I've tried real hard in waking up early, but apparently its not in my genes.. I know if I set the time, I should be on time, but its because I don't dare to set a time that is late, afraid that I might displease you.. I told myself I have to be on time, but just can't make it..
All these are just excuses for me, thats all I can say.. Its all because I didn't try hard enough.. I've already wake up so early every morning, just wanna slack a little bit more during weekends, but apparently things don't turn out your way.. NS really can change someone.. *clap*

If you say you no longer have expection or rather trust I would say.. No longer trust that I can get something done (ok la, is I orbi, I know).. But I've also been disappointed.. No longer have faith.. Its because you let me feel that YOU cant be bothered with ME.. And now you are telling me I'm the culprit..
*freaked out*
Shock of my life..

Now I can finally understand what is "Zhi zhuo zhi shou".. Not blaming you.. But now I think, since we no longer have faith in each other, plus you cant be bothered with me and maybe, don't wan see my face.. So whats the point in holding on? Holding on to the past, or you think if end like this is a total waste of time?
Parting is awful, but the past will always be beautiful.. You will always stand a special place in my heart.. I hope me too =x (asking for too much sia me..)

*Flip* I majiam acting out what is going to happen man.. Really is the director to my own flim.. wahAhahHa, total rubbish..

But I need time to sort it out, need to think..
But....but, I think here think there, my mind is just in blank, whats there to think leh..
Cant be bothered means cant be bothered what, I think until my brain burst liao, he also cant be bothered..
Just too bad.. My emotion cant be balance means cant be balance..
"Nu ren xu yao hong de" so when cant be bothered, he wont even care to hong me even if I emotionally unbalance..
When I'm pissed, though you reason out liao, I've registered the pissed for pass 2 days.. Not say a sentence, then the pissed will be gone de.. Need to hong de you know.. Well, guess you will never know.. I can't throw temper, cause I scared you will angry.. But somehow I still did it.. Told myself not to.. But...Guess my patient is running out..

Think what I need to do now is to stay strong, focus and get mentally prepared..

This time round I don't wanna be the bad guy, cause I dont wanna go hell.. whAhahHaA.. =x *bloody asshole sia me*
I really dont know what to do..What to say.. What to act.. I dont feel special anymore..
Maybe we took each other for granted, for too long..

Do we need time to cool down, to seperate ?!? Flip, I don't know.. If it is.. I will need alot of time..

Time is the best remedy... I need more time..

If you happen to see this post.. You tell me, is this gonna happen.. ?!?

I'll let you decide..

why bother when no one cares

Hmm, let me see, when is the last time I blog.. Haha.. Well, nothing much lately, just that got kinda sick..

Somehow or rather, my eye had this infectiouse little pimple last week.. Went to see doctor, and she prescribe some antibiotics for me to consume, cause my eye was like swollen.. I look abit like spongebob then.. loL..
But its only a day after I consume the anitbiotics and I start having rashes.. So I went back to the doctor again thinking that I have some skin sensitive problem, but she told me that its cause I'm allergy to the medication she had given me earlier on.. Another type of anitibotics is prescribed to me, btu apparently it has not much of a help in calming down my swollen eye.. Cause I still have the spongebob eye and to make things worst, the pimple started growing..

I just look so monstrous and alienic for the pass few days until I "buey ta han" liao.. So I went to the doctor again, this time with a slightly bigger then green bean size pimple dangling on my eye lid yesterday.. (Disgusting right)..
So off I went to have it cut off.. Doctor say she will perform a little minor surgery on my eye to get that "green bean" out.. Nonetheless.. the process is PAINFUL..
First she has to inject medication into my eye lid to numb it, then she start digging the pimple out.. Till now there is this so call blue black mark on my eye lid due to the injection.. Just 1 word to discribe, PAINFUL.
So since yesterday night, my right eye looks totally so hideous after I remove the cotton bandage.. Bandgae is so bloody and YeEwWw... Disgusting..

Today I had a right eye that looks exactly like spongebob's eye.. But I still went office to clear a little stuff in the morning.. (responsible right).. wahAhaA, but its like a monster walking down orchard road.. Bth myself..

Now sad thing is, when my eye is in this state, Mr Bee is not with me at all.. I know he got school orientation, and he is just so freaking busy till he doesn't really have time to care about me.. The only time he sms me or call me is cause he want me to help him do something.. Should be glad right, at least he still knows my existence.. *flip*
But ever since poly graduate, whenever I'm sick he is no longer there for me.. Ya la, have to learnt to be independent, but when I'm sick, can hardly do that you know.. No matter how strong I am, I still wish someone can be there.. But just too bad so sad.. As people always say, "kao bei ren hai bu ru kao zhi ji". Cant rely on him anymore.. Just feel so sad when I finish my so call "operation yesterday.. Cause I cant wear spects and have to press on my wound, I cant really see well in the dark, due to my serious myopia.. Lucky clinic is just nearby, so I just slowly walk back home.. But it just feel so sad.. And if I don't sms him or tell him, he also dont know.. True enough, I made this last minute decision myself of going to the doctor, but he was just so busy the whole day till he also no sms me and ask about my condition.. He only say previously, "if don't feel well go see a doctor k". But what I need is someone to accompany me.. Haha, come to think about it, I'm old enough liao la.. Its my eye not his eye, pain is me not him also what, he come also no use..

But too bad, I can't help but feel pissed of.. Say me unreasonable, petty, fa xiao jie pi qi, anything you like.. Just too bad.. I'm bloody PISSED.. Guess I pissed him off yesterday too.. Cause.. "I'm in orientation,can't help it, busy.. Not I don't want accompany you.." Can't help it.. Can't help it.. Have enough of can't help it (not only from him la), but just had enough.. But if he were to ask me, "What you want me to do then !!", haha, I also don't know.. Just give me a wack and let me faint ba.. faint liao don't need think, won't feel pissed and can have a really good sleep leh.. loL.. Tried to make things better by sms-ing him n so on, but just feel so bloody hell.. loL

Till now, no sms, no call to ask about how I am liao.. Is either he lost his phone, phone low batt or he jus too busy pao mei mei (ok la, busy with orientation).. No news is no news.. Is its really that busy, When wake up can't sms? A little sentence of " how's your eye? Sorry gonna be busy whole day, rest well k." Though see this liao also will pissed off la, but at least shows he cares.. Now is what.. They confiscated his phone? Or some thief came by and stole his phone..
Bo Xim lo, still got what.. Say liao, he can't be bothered with me anymore.. From all aspect, my point of view and so on.. Don't know, maybe I'm asking for too much.. Don't ask me what, cause its just alot.. And from his point of view, I know I'm asking for too much.. Since he can't be bothered, so why do I care..
Mr Bee, I really really from the bottom of my heart feels that you cant be bothered with me..

Is it because we are together for too long that you take me for granted or what? Maybe you don't feel it ba.. Maybe you see my face too long you feel sick also.. Afterall, I seems to be the only girl you see for the past few years, I should be contented.. Well, maybe its time for you to see other girls too le.. Like what you always say, we are from two different world, what you want and what I want is different.

I should stay focus on what I want and not on barbie doll fairy tales anymore, cause this doesn't happen in real world..Maybe... Dreamland... Talk about dreamland, its time for bed le.. Hope I can find my "prince" that will dote on me, care, concern and treat me like a princess inside.. Am I asking for too much ?!? Haha, but in my dreams ma, I am the writer to my life.. I have the power and control.. wahAhahAHa.. As people always says, Nan ren kao de zhu, mu zhu hui shang shu..

Well, just came up here to whine.. Don't feel like talking to anyone, cause I have to be strong, be independent.. No one cares, so why should I bother..

I'm just a little girl that is being neglected at one tiny little coner of this world.. All I need is time to be strong and stand up again on my own.. Shit man, so how long will that be..

*sigh*

Life SUX~!!! Everything SUX to the core to the everything...

Whatever~

exam day

Today it the long awaited exam I had.. Well, how do I put it..

First I was late for exam..
Second, I nearly fainted on the spot when I see my papers..
Third, I was still half asleep when I'm in the examination hall..

So to summarize, I this time confirm fail.. Sigh..


After that went Bugis with Bee.. Long time no shop whole day till drop with him le..
At night we went to Esplanade for fireworks, but the sky played a joke on us.. We waited till like 7.30pm ans it started raining.. As the fireworks starts at 8pm, we continue to wait.. And guess what, it started to rain heavily when its near to 8pm.. So shitty..
So its like watching the fireworks in the rain.. Hmm, something new.. lOL

So shag and tired.. Well, think I everyday also shag and tired.. Haha.. Overall, a happy day la.. Though my exam sux..

Go bed lo...

Orientation

Today's is my orientation.. I feel so lonely, go there alone.. Haha.. But stayed for awhile and went off le..

Before I go off, I went to collect my course materials.. Its FARKING HEAVY, and I have to drag all 6 book back to Serangoon.. Initially have the thought of bring them along to meet egg and hui in orchard.. But its just too heavy le.. And no guys pop out to help me.. WahAHahAHahA.. Carry until both my hand shiver.. Its just so farking heavy la.. Till now its still shivering lo..

After dumping those books at home, I went off to meet egg and hui.. Need to pass egg the little perssie that we bought for her in Taiwan.. Was so careless man, took hui's shoe home, and she brought mine home.. Haha, didnt check properly while packing lauggage in hotel sia.. Hui says she gonna wack me if her shoe is being expanded.. lOl, but I didn't.. I help to comfy her shoes leh.. =p

So got the urge for food in chomp chomp.. Those local delights.. I still prefer Chomp Chomp then Newton.. I just miss Stingray, Sotong, Lala, Satay, Chicken Wing, Porridge, Oyster.. Blah Blah bLah.. Cravings~~

Drooling liao.. lOL.. still feeling hungry man, though I just had a bowl of fishball bee hoon.. I just so want food from chomp chomp.. Hahaha..

Drool~

toothache

Today went back to work.. Feeling so lethargic.. No mood work.. Just so sian ah.. lOl..

But worst of all is my tooth hurts.. I wonder is it cause I too heaty or is it cause of my wisdom tooth.. Just so sian la.. Please don't let it be my wisdom tooth, cause I got no courage to visit the dentist.. Think I will pee my pants if they want to remove my wisdom tooth man..

I pray.. I pray..

*shiver*

Back from Taiwan

Back from my Taiwan trip.. Was feeling very tired, just feel like sleeping and do nothing. But come to think about it, all I did today was sleep and did nothing already, yet I'm still very tired..

Starting work tomorrow le, feeling abit sian ah.. Cause got alot of things to do and face.. Just feel so much to go into hiding..

Taiwan is a very interesting place.. Alot of night market for you to hang out at night, unlike Singapore, no night market de.. I miss the night market, the food and the shopping..
People at the shopping mall is just so SUPER friendly.. So friendly until I feel bad if I don't buy them.. But as I'm broke like hell, so i feel damm paiseh when they bow to me saying " xie xie guang lin". Its not only those that we patronize say that to us, its all the staff in the shopping mall saying thaty to us when we walk pass them.. So paiseh.. Didn't expierence this kind of service in Singapore before sia..

This really is a very " da kai yan jie" de trip.. Would sure go back to Taipei again.. I wanna explore all the asia country.. Next destination will be Ho Chih Min..

Have to save up le.. No more shopping for the next few month.. Gotta concentrate on studying and working le..

Sian leh. tomorrow working.. Then follow by orientation on the weekend, and exam on the following week.. Just so super busy.. Can I just stay in Taiwan and don't come back.. Haha, just so don't feel like facing all this things.. But well, life still have to goes on.. This is just my so so sucky.. Sickening..