Culprit

If there must be a culprit, that would be me..

The culprit to my own breakup..

So for all the treatment I received is I earn it for myself.. But I don't understand why can't you just accept me for who I am.. I've tried real hard in waking up early, but apparently its not in my genes.. I know if I set the time, I should be on time, but its because I don't dare to set a time that is late, afraid that I might displease you.. I told myself I have to be on time, but just can't make it..
All these are just excuses for me, thats all I can say.. Its all because I didn't try hard enough.. I've already wake up so early every morning, just wanna slack a little bit more during weekends, but apparently things don't turn out your way.. NS really can change someone.. *clap*

If you say you no longer have expection or rather trust I would say.. No longer trust that I can get something done (ok la, is I orbi, I know).. But I've also been disappointed.. No longer have faith.. Its because you let me feel that YOU cant be bothered with ME.. And now you are telling me I'm the culprit..
*freaked out*
Shock of my life..

Now I can finally understand what is "Zhi zhuo zhi shou".. Not blaming you.. But now I think, since we no longer have faith in each other, plus you cant be bothered with me and maybe, don't wan see my face.. So whats the point in holding on? Holding on to the past, or you think if end like this is a total waste of time?
Parting is awful, but the past will always be beautiful.. You will always stand a special place in my heart.. I hope me too =x (asking for too much sia me..)

*Flip* I majiam acting out what is going to happen man.. Really is the director to my own flim.. wahAhahHa, total rubbish..

But I need time to sort it out, need to think..
But....but, I think here think there, my mind is just in blank, whats there to think leh..
Cant be bothered means cant be bothered what, I think until my brain burst liao, he also cant be bothered..
Just too bad.. My emotion cant be balance means cant be balance..
"Nu ren xu yao hong de" so when cant be bothered, he wont even care to hong me even if I emotionally unbalance..
When I'm pissed, though you reason out liao, I've registered the pissed for pass 2 days.. Not say a sentence, then the pissed will be gone de.. Need to hong de you know.. Well, guess you will never know.. I can't throw temper, cause I scared you will angry.. But somehow I still did it.. Told myself not to.. But...Guess my patient is running out..

Think what I need to do now is to stay strong, focus and get mentally prepared..

This time round I don't wanna be the bad guy, cause I dont wanna go hell.. whAhahHaA.. =x *bloody asshole sia me*
I really dont know what to do..What to say.. What to act.. I dont feel special anymore..
Maybe we took each other for granted, for too long..

Do we need time to cool down, to seperate ?!? Flip, I don't know.. If it is.. I will need alot of time..

Time is the best remedy... I need more time..

If you happen to see this post.. You tell me, is this gonna happen.. ?!?

I'll let you decide..