why bother when no one cares

Hmm, let me see, when is the last time I blog.. Haha.. Well, nothing much lately, just that got kinda sick..

Somehow or rather, my eye had this infectiouse little pimple last week.. Went to see doctor, and she prescribe some antibiotics for me to consume, cause my eye was like swollen.. I look abit like spongebob then.. loL..
But its only a day after I consume the anitbiotics and I start having rashes.. So I went back to the doctor again thinking that I have some skin sensitive problem, but she told me that its cause I'm allergy to the medication she had given me earlier on.. Another type of anitibotics is prescribed to me, btu apparently it has not much of a help in calming down my swollen eye.. Cause I still have the spongebob eye and to make things worst, the pimple started growing..

I just look so monstrous and alienic for the pass few days until I "buey ta han" liao.. So I went to the doctor again, this time with a slightly bigger then green bean size pimple dangling on my eye lid yesterday.. (Disgusting right)..
So off I went to have it cut off.. Doctor say she will perform a little minor surgery on my eye to get that "green bean" out.. Nonetheless.. the process is PAINFUL..
First she has to inject medication into my eye lid to numb it, then she start digging the pimple out.. Till now there is this so call blue black mark on my eye lid due to the injection.. Just 1 word to discribe, PAINFUL.
So since yesterday night, my right eye looks totally so hideous after I remove the cotton bandage.. Bandgae is so bloody and YeEwWw... Disgusting..

Today I had a right eye that looks exactly like spongebob's eye.. But I still went office to clear a little stuff in the morning.. (responsible right).. wahAhaA, but its like a monster walking down orchard road.. Bth myself..

Now sad thing is, when my eye is in this state, Mr Bee is not with me at all.. I know he got school orientation, and he is just so freaking busy till he doesn't really have time to care about me.. The only time he sms me or call me is cause he want me to help him do something.. Should be glad right, at least he still knows my existence.. *flip*
But ever since poly graduate, whenever I'm sick he is no longer there for me.. Ya la, have to learnt to be independent, but when I'm sick, can hardly do that you know.. No matter how strong I am, I still wish someone can be there.. But just too bad so sad.. As people always say, "kao bei ren hai bu ru kao zhi ji". Cant rely on him anymore.. Just feel so sad when I finish my so call "operation yesterday.. Cause I cant wear spects and have to press on my wound, I cant really see well in the dark, due to my serious myopia.. Lucky clinic is just nearby, so I just slowly walk back home.. But it just feel so sad.. And if I don't sms him or tell him, he also dont know.. True enough, I made this last minute decision myself of going to the doctor, but he was just so busy the whole day till he also no sms me and ask about my condition.. He only say previously, "if don't feel well go see a doctor k". But what I need is someone to accompany me.. Haha, come to think about it, I'm old enough liao la.. Its my eye not his eye, pain is me not him also what, he come also no use..

But too bad, I can't help but feel pissed of.. Say me unreasonable, petty, fa xiao jie pi qi, anything you like.. Just too bad.. I'm bloody PISSED.. Guess I pissed him off yesterday too.. Cause.. "I'm in orientation,can't help it, busy.. Not I don't want accompany you.." Can't help it.. Can't help it.. Have enough of can't help it (not only from him la), but just had enough.. But if he were to ask me, "What you want me to do then !!", haha, I also don't know.. Just give me a wack and let me faint ba.. faint liao don't need think, won't feel pissed and can have a really good sleep leh.. loL.. Tried to make things better by sms-ing him n so on, but just feel so bloody hell.. loL

Till now, no sms, no call to ask about how I am liao.. Is either he lost his phone, phone low batt or he jus too busy pao mei mei (ok la, busy with orientation).. No news is no news.. Is its really that busy, When wake up can't sms? A little sentence of " how's your eye? Sorry gonna be busy whole day, rest well k." Though see this liao also will pissed off la, but at least shows he cares.. Now is what.. They confiscated his phone? Or some thief came by and stole his phone..
Bo Xim lo, still got what.. Say liao, he can't be bothered with me anymore.. From all aspect, my point of view and so on.. Don't know, maybe I'm asking for too much.. Don't ask me what, cause its just alot.. And from his point of view, I know I'm asking for too much.. Since he can't be bothered, so why do I care..
Mr Bee, I really really from the bottom of my heart feels that you cant be bothered with me..

Is it because we are together for too long that you take me for granted or what? Maybe you don't feel it ba.. Maybe you see my face too long you feel sick also.. Afterall, I seems to be the only girl you see for the past few years, I should be contented.. Well, maybe its time for you to see other girls too le.. Like what you always say, we are from two different world, what you want and what I want is different.

I should stay focus on what I want and not on barbie doll fairy tales anymore, cause this doesn't happen in real world..Maybe... Dreamland... Talk about dreamland, its time for bed le.. Hope I can find my "prince" that will dote on me, care, concern and treat me like a princess inside.. Am I asking for too much ?!? Haha, but in my dreams ma, I am the writer to my life.. I have the power and control.. wahAhahAHa.. As people always says, Nan ren kao de zhu, mu zhu hui shang shu..

Well, just came up here to whine.. Don't feel like talking to anyone, cause I have to be strong, be independent.. No one cares, so why should I bother..

I'm just a little girl that is being neglected at one tiny little coner of this world.. All I need is time to be strong and stand up again on my own.. Shit man, so how long will that be..

*sigh*

Life SUX~!!! Everything SUX to the core to the everything...

Whatever~